The Stress of Getting Organized

For todays blog post I thought I would bring in a fresh face. Let me introduce Ronii Bartles. She is a business consultant that helps small businesses grow and run more efficiently. I personally use her services and have noticed a huge increase in my productivity. So here is Ronii...

So when Dr. Zipp asked me to be a guest blogger for iStress.org, it kind of stressed me out. What did I know about stress management? Or how could I talk about dealing with stress when just the thought of doing this blog post stressed me out? I can’t even handle my own stress let alone tell other people how to handle theirs. But once I calmed myself down, I realized that I do have something to offer. I am a business management consultant and as part of my job I work with clients in calming them down and helping them organize their business so that it is successful and (hopefully) less stressful.

When I meet with a new client I start with a basic assessment of their organization; how it runs and the culture they have garnered. I take the system they have created and use it to organize and create a customized workflow. Why do I not come in and start with a clean slate and make them conform to my way of organization, you ask? Good question. I use their existing system for 2 reasons. One, they are already comfortable with their system and how it flows and making small changes is more effective and efficient. Second, I’m not one to re-invent the wheel.

I have a friend, who is normally extremely organized, let her home office go and when you walked in you couldn’t move because there was so many things floating around. She had let it go because every time she went to clean it up she would get overwhelmed and stress out. When I went to help her it really didn’t take us but a few hours because we worked with her natural way of organizing and we conquered her overwhelmed, stressed out feeling of getting started, which is common when you are conquering a project such as organization and time management.

When you are working on being organized or managing time take your existing system and your natural tendencies and work with them because your results will always be better in the end. If you work best with a day planner that you literally write your appointments in, then use that as your schedule (and don’t let the electronic people pick on you about it). Me, I like to keep my appointments electronically in Outlook and sync it with my Blackberry. I find that once I have an appointment entered into my calendar I just naturally remember it and I’m much more organized because I have found the system that works for me. Don’t let getting organized overwhelm you because once you get started you will find it won’t take that long and you do know where to start.

Best,

Ronii Bartles

If you would like to learn more about Ronii and the services she offers please check out her website http://www.bartlesandassociates.com/

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

The Stress of Playing Catch Up

I had a conversation today with a client of mine. We were talking about his pocket notepad he carries around to write down what he eats during the day. I had him start that notebook almost 2 years ago to help him lose weight and get into better shape. He mentioned to me the idea of catching up and how he cant catch up on his notebook. If he doesn't write something down that he eats or drinks, he tends to forget about putting it in later. He said that if he does by chance remember later, he is never quite sure the amounts of what he ate and then his notebook becomes a guessbook.

Playing catch up can be such a stressful game. Not only do we have to work on our tasks that need to be done now, but also about what wasn't done in the past. This causes us to get into overwhelm. It can also cause us to second guess what needs to be done.

Some of you might be thinking that you can catch up on things, like sleep. Lets say you want to sleep more tonight to catch up for not sleeping enough yesterday. What happens to your time tomorrow? You have less of it because you were sleeping more. So now you don't have as much time to get all you need or want to get done, so what happens? Just catch up the next day. Can you see how the cycle gets created? It is an endless cycle, but there is a way out.

From today on you can choose to start living your life from present to future. You can choose to stop living from present to past. Its a change in mental thinking. I am not saying just let go of all the obligations you didn't accomplish the day or week prior. I am saying just do what needs to be done. If you need more sleep, sleep. That is what you choose to do at that moment. Your not catching up, your just sleeping. Its about living in the present and not living in the past.

We all have only so much time, once its gone, its gone. There are no do overs or any way to buy extra seconds, minutes or days. There is also no way of knowing how much time we have left on the clock. We cant catch up, there is no way to really get extra time. We just spend it how we choose to.

Wishing you the very best,

Dr. John Zipp

Difference Between Wanting and Craving

Have you ever wanted something, didn't get it, and then quickly forgot about ever wanting it in the first place. Conversely have you ever wanted something really bad, weren't able to get it, and kept craving it for days, months, maybe years later?

Stress comes from craving not from mere wanting. What do I mean? Well lets take an example from my life. Ever since I was 7 years old and saw the movie Cannonball Run I have wanted a red Lamborghini. Do I think about that sometimes? Yes. What happens if I don't ever get that car? Well I think I will be OK. My happiness and my fulfillment isn't tied to that car. Let's take a second example from my personal life. I am hungry right now. What happens if I do not get any food in the next 30 minutes, will I be happy? No. Will I want it even more? Yes. Will I be more stressed because of it? Yes. That's the difference between wanting and craving. Craving is a have to have kind of mentality. Wanting is a desire.

Well what about when it comes to our health? What if my body is telling me it needs something? Is that a wanting or a craving and should I follow it? With this we have to use our logical mind. We have to think about if this feeling is based on something good for us or bad for us. If we are in the mood for ice cream and we can't let go of that idea, then that is probably a craving. Now say we are training for a marathon or doing heavy weight training and feel this growing feeling for more protein. Then I would say, yes it is craving, but follow your instincts.

So the bottom line is we must work on our feelings of craving. We must learn to let go of our need to have something. Its OK to want it, but to need it causes us stress. If we do find ourselves needing something and not being able to let it go, then we must analyze it. We must find out if this is something that will benefit us or hurt us. If it is the first, then pursue it, if it is the second we must learn to let it go.

Wishing you the very best,

Dr. John Zipp

Dealing With People Who Are Always Wrong

A friend just posted a great question on his Facebook site. He asked, "how do you cope with people who are 90% wrong all the time?" It is an interesting question. There are so many times in life where we are surrounded by people who have different opinions than we have. This can be stressful enough to deal with at times. The bigger question is: How do we deal with people that are always wrong when they speak?

Now I don't mean that they have a different opinion than us. I mean that they get the facts wrong, they get the story wrong, they are way off base in their logic. We have all had friends like these. They are the ones that make up stories, fabricate the truth, or just don't get the big picture.

Well the first solution is to not take it personally. I wrote about this concept in a previous blog post and it is very applicable to this situation. If we are not the target, than we can not be hurt by the arrow of their false ideas. So realize that their point of view is theirs, not yours and it has nothing to do with you.

A second solution is to distance yourself from people like that. For some reason they either feel the need to stand out or they really are not too bright. Either way, get away. If you know that being around someone like that will stress you out, leave. The environment creates such an impact on how we behave, even the best of us can be drawn in.

A third solution is to straight out confront the situation. Tell them flat out that they are wrong and why. Sometimes calling someone out does make a difference. Maybe nobody has had the courage before and so they go on telling lies and embellishments. Now if you do this more than a couple of times and they still don't change, then it is time to let it go.

If you still find dealing with these people challenging make sure you check out one of our coaching packages at http://www.istress.org/Life_Coaching.html for more help.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp