The Stress of Getting Organized

For todays blog post I thought I would bring in a fresh face. Let me introduce Ronii Bartles. She is a business consultant that helps small businesses grow and run more efficiently. I personally use her services and have noticed a huge increase in my productivity. So here is Ronii...

So when Dr. Zipp asked me to be a guest blogger for iStress.org, it kind of stressed me out. What did I know about stress management? Or how could I talk about dealing with stress when just the thought of doing this blog post stressed me out? I can’t even handle my own stress let alone tell other people how to handle theirs. But once I calmed myself down, I realized that I do have something to offer. I am a business management consultant and as part of my job I work with clients in calming them down and helping them organize their business so that it is successful and (hopefully) less stressful.

When I meet with a new client I start with a basic assessment of their organization; how it runs and the culture they have garnered. I take the system they have created and use it to organize and create a customized workflow. Why do I not come in and start with a clean slate and make them conform to my way of organization, you ask? Good question. I use their existing system for 2 reasons. One, they are already comfortable with their system and how it flows and making small changes is more effective and efficient. Second, I’m not one to re-invent the wheel.

I have a friend, who is normally extremely organized, let her home office go and when you walked in you couldn’t move because there was so many things floating around. She had let it go because every time she went to clean it up she would get overwhelmed and stress out. When I went to help her it really didn’t take us but a few hours because we worked with her natural way of organizing and we conquered her overwhelmed, stressed out feeling of getting started, which is common when you are conquering a project such as organization and time management.

When you are working on being organized or managing time take your existing system and your natural tendencies and work with them because your results will always be better in the end. If you work best with a day planner that you literally write your appointments in, then use that as your schedule (and don’t let the electronic people pick on you about it). Me, I like to keep my appointments electronically in Outlook and sync it with my Blackberry. I find that once I have an appointment entered into my calendar I just naturally remember it and I’m much more organized because I have found the system that works for me. Don’t let getting organized overwhelm you because once you get started you will find it won’t take that long and you do know where to start.

Best,

Ronii Bartles

If you would like to learn more about Ronii and the services she offers please check out her website http://www.bartlesandassociates.com/

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

The Stress of Playing Catch Up

I had a conversation today with a client of mine. We were talking about his pocket notepad he carries around to write down what he eats during the day. I had him start that notebook almost 2 years ago to help him lose weight and get into better shape. He mentioned to me the idea of catching up and how he cant catch up on his notebook. If he doesn't write something down that he eats or drinks, he tends to forget about putting it in later. He said that if he does by chance remember later, he is never quite sure the amounts of what he ate and then his notebook becomes a guessbook.

Playing catch up can be such a stressful game. Not only do we have to work on our tasks that need to be done now, but also about what wasn't done in the past. This causes us to get into overwhelm. It can also cause us to second guess what needs to be done.

Some of you might be thinking that you can catch up on things, like sleep. Lets say you want to sleep more tonight to catch up for not sleeping enough yesterday. What happens to your time tomorrow? You have less of it because you were sleeping more. So now you don't have as much time to get all you need or want to get done, so what happens? Just catch up the next day. Can you see how the cycle gets created? It is an endless cycle, but there is a way out.

From today on you can choose to start living your life from present to future. You can choose to stop living from present to past. Its a change in mental thinking. I am not saying just let go of all the obligations you didn't accomplish the day or week prior. I am saying just do what needs to be done. If you need more sleep, sleep. That is what you choose to do at that moment. Your not catching up, your just sleeping. Its about living in the present and not living in the past.

We all have only so much time, once its gone, its gone. There are no do overs or any way to buy extra seconds, minutes or days. There is also no way of knowing how much time we have left on the clock. We cant catch up, there is no way to really get extra time. We just spend it how we choose to.

Wishing you the very best,

Dr. John Zipp

Difference Between Wanting and Craving

Have you ever wanted something, didn't get it, and then quickly forgot about ever wanting it in the first place. Conversely have you ever wanted something really bad, weren't able to get it, and kept craving it for days, months, maybe years later?

Stress comes from craving not from mere wanting. What do I mean? Well lets take an example from my life. Ever since I was 7 years old and saw the movie Cannonball Run I have wanted a red Lamborghini. Do I think about that sometimes? Yes. What happens if I don't ever get that car? Well I think I will be OK. My happiness and my fulfillment isn't tied to that car. Let's take a second example from my personal life. I am hungry right now. What happens if I do not get any food in the next 30 minutes, will I be happy? No. Will I want it even more? Yes. Will I be more stressed because of it? Yes. That's the difference between wanting and craving. Craving is a have to have kind of mentality. Wanting is a desire.

Well what about when it comes to our health? What if my body is telling me it needs something? Is that a wanting or a craving and should I follow it? With this we have to use our logical mind. We have to think about if this feeling is based on something good for us or bad for us. If we are in the mood for ice cream and we can't let go of that idea, then that is probably a craving. Now say we are training for a marathon or doing heavy weight training and feel this growing feeling for more protein. Then I would say, yes it is craving, but follow your instincts.

So the bottom line is we must work on our feelings of craving. We must learn to let go of our need to have something. Its OK to want it, but to need it causes us stress. If we do find ourselves needing something and not being able to let it go, then we must analyze it. We must find out if this is something that will benefit us or hurt us. If it is the first, then pursue it, if it is the second we must learn to let it go.

Wishing you the very best,

Dr. John Zipp

Dealing With People Who Are Always Wrong

A friend just posted a great question on his Facebook site. He asked, "how do you cope with people who are 90% wrong all the time?" It is an interesting question. There are so many times in life where we are surrounded by people who have different opinions than we have. This can be stressful enough to deal with at times. The bigger question is: How do we deal with people that are always wrong when they speak?

Now I don't mean that they have a different opinion than us. I mean that they get the facts wrong, they get the story wrong, they are way off base in their logic. We have all had friends like these. They are the ones that make up stories, fabricate the truth, or just don't get the big picture.

Well the first solution is to not take it personally. I wrote about this concept in a previous blog post and it is very applicable to this situation. If we are not the target, than we can not be hurt by the arrow of their false ideas. So realize that their point of view is theirs, not yours and it has nothing to do with you.

A second solution is to distance yourself from people like that. For some reason they either feel the need to stand out or they really are not too bright. Either way, get away. If you know that being around someone like that will stress you out, leave. The environment creates such an impact on how we behave, even the best of us can be drawn in.

A third solution is to straight out confront the situation. Tell them flat out that they are wrong and why. Sometimes calling someone out does make a difference. Maybe nobody has had the courage before and so they go on telling lies and embellishments. Now if you do this more than a couple of times and they still don't change, then it is time to let it go.

If you still find dealing with these people challenging make sure you check out one of our coaching packages at http://www.istress.org/Life_Coaching.html for more help.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Not Taking Life Personally

We have a tendency to take life personally. It could be someone's reaction to what we say, a car cutting in front of us in traffic, or a disagreement with a loved one. A secret to having less stress in life and more happiness is to not take these situations personally. It is usually not about you anyway. Their response is due to past influences, habitual tendencies, and their state of mind in that moment. To think that we are the cause of their reactions is kind of ridiculous. Yes we do cause a small impact, but most of their response is due to their "baggage" that they have been carrying around for many years.

This understanding is not being judgmental, but about learning to be more compassionate. We all have our own baggage. When you realize this, you understand that most people's reactions have little or nothing to do with you. You then stop being the target. When you finally grasp this concept, your daily stress lessens and you start living a happier life.

Til next time.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

A Stressed Mind is a Grasping Mind

Wanting to hold onto things is a big cause of stress. We are always either trying to pull things toward us or push things away. We grab the things we like, and the things we don't like, well we push them away. This constant struggle uses up a lot of energy and causes stress in our minds and bodies.

In Buddhism this is called attachment. We are always craving more and more. What happens when we don't get what we want? We stress. It is not the desire of wanting things that is the problem, it is the attachment, the craving that is the problem. It is what a good friend of mine calls "the grasping mind".

Well what is the way to solve this challenge? We start to solve it by changing our perceptions. We learn to live from a different state of mind. Does that mean we don't have goals, desires, dreams. No. It means we have those things, but don't have to have those things. See the difference, its subtle. I want a Porsche, but I don't have to have a Porsche. If I can buy one, fine, if I can't I am happy with my Honda. I want to get home by 5:30 today, but the boss calls me in for a last minute meeting. Would I have rather got off on time, yes, but am I going to have a bad night because I didn't? No.

Its learning to be more in the flow of life. Its learning to be more self reliant. Its learning to be so full inside that you don't need anything else. Again, its not that I don't want anything, I just don't have to have anything.

With this state of mind, stress seems to lessen its hold. Why? Because now there is nothing for stress to hold on to. There is nothing for it to grab, because we are not grabbing.

Til next time.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

How to Deal with the Stress of Living in Your Projections

The challenge of dealing with stress is understanding that when we are stressed, we are living in our projections. We are not living in the now, in reality, and in ourselves. We are projecting our fears and our worries onto something that does not exist.

"Wait, my stress is real, I feel it in my body", you might be thinking. What you are feeling when you are stressed is the effect of believing in the projections as something that are real. Your body is just responding in the way you have told it to. You told your body that you were stressed or fearful of a situation so it pumped in adrenaline and cortisone to help you deal with it. Your unconscious mind can't tell the difference between something vividly imagined and something that is really happening. The reality is that there was really nothing to deal with. The stressful situation hasn't occurred yet. But since your unconscious mind thinks it is occurring the body gets more stressed, which agitates the mind and causes your thoughts of stress and panic to increase. See the endless loop we can get in?

So what can we do. Well the first step is to realize that all that we fear and worry about is just a projection, a movie let's say, of the mind. If it is our movie, then we can direct it anyway we want to. We can step into the directors chair instead of letting other people take control over our mind. So now as the director why not change it up. The next time you find yourself stressed about something, add some music to the movie you are playing in your mind. First put in some upbeat music, see what happens. Now put in some slow romantic music, again see what happens. What about adding some cool voice over to the whole scene you are imagining. You know, like the guy that does the movie trailers.

Some more advanced ways to mix up your mental movie are to slow it down, speed it up and run it in reverse. Also try changing the colors of your mental movie by making it black and white or bright and cheerful.

Have fun directing your movies.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Watching What You Say, the Stress of Being Politically Correct

My Buddhist teacher talks about the dangers of being politically correct. How trying to watch what we say and please everyone ends up making us confused. It is something I have come to realize in my own life. Too many times I see people trying to say the "appropriate" things, being careful not to step on anyones toes. The challenge is, you can't make everyone happy, and you can't watch out for everyone's toes.

The stress kicks in when we cannot remember what we said and to whom we said it. If we watch what we say, than we are not being honest with our thoughts and feelings. So what we end up doing much of the time is lying to others. Lets use the example of going to a a movie with a bunch of friends. Your best friend, who chose what movie you saw because it was his birthday, asks you what you thought after it was over. Well in truth you didn't like it(in fact you fell asleep during half of it), but you tell them him instead that you loved it. Now its a week later and you see your best friend's sister out and she asks what you thought of the movie you saw. What do you say? Well you forget that you told your best friend you loved it and so you tell his sister that you hated it. The sister tells her brother who is now mad at you for lying, which then snowballs into all your friends ganging up on you. All for trying to say the "right thing". If you told your friend the truth in the very beginning about what you thought of the movie there would be no big deal when asked by someone else. So there is the stress of trying to remember what we said and the stress of being found out that we said was something different previously. What a pickle being politically correct can cause.

Now being honest with our speech doesn't mean we have to be blunt or harsh. There are more polite ways to respond to people and still be honest with our answers.

The other thing that being politically correct does is take away our self-esteem. We honor what we consider societies choices over our own. We must be the ones that decide what we like or don't like. When you put that in someone else's hands you give them the power to shape your life.

I met a fellow chiropractor a while back at a party. As it always goes when two chiropractors meet, they talk about their offices. Well the doctor I was talking to started bringing up another chiropractor in the area and discussing what he was doing in his office. I mentioned how I didn't appreciate how that other chiropractor ran his office, how he was not treating his patients in the best possible way. My new friend quickly interrupted me and said that he doesn't ever talk badly about another doctor. I thought about that for the rest of the night. Now there is one thing being gossipy and slanderous and there is another having a conversation and maybe helping someone. This other doctor isn't giving great care to his patients. What if someone asks my new chiropractor friend his opinion on him, and he says, oh he is a good chiropractor but I don't really talk about other doctors. Now this person goes and gets bad service. Who's fault is that? Who looks bad from that situation? Does the other chiropractor look bad or does my friend look bad for referring someone to him? What if this patient now tells all his friends how bad this other doctor is? Now the profession itself can look bad. All this could have been stopped by telling the truth. See the dangers of being politically correct.

The last point is that what is politically correct today, will be politically wrong tomorrow. Just look at history. Smoking was good for us at one time, then in the 60's we found out it was killing people. Russia was bad at one time, now they are our friends. Do you want to ride on the roller coaster of public opinion or of your own?

So let go of the stress of watching what you say, of being politically correct and just be yourself. Be honest with your opinions or say nothing at all. Either way don't have the stress of trying to remember what you said or of saying the right thing.

Til next time.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

Many people come up to me from time to time and ask what they can do to sleep better through the night. So I thought I would write this post on some ways to get a better night sleep if stress seems to be disturbing your quiet time.

One reason we can have trouble sleeping during the night is because we keep looping ideas in our minds. It might be a project at work, things we need to do tomorrow, a talk we need to have with someone, but these thoughts rage havoc in our minds. Try as we might to fall asleep, the thoughts see to come up stronger and a faster pace. To help solve this challenge we need to get these ideas out of our heads. Go out today and buy a notebook and pen and place them right beside your bed within easy reach. When bedtime comes around, and your mind is running wild, grab your pen and write down your thoughts. The mere act of writing the ideas your looping in your mind down on paper let them fade away. What you are doing is telling your mind that its OK, you have what needs to be done recorded, it can rest now.

Sometimes its not important ideas flowing in our minds that is keeping us up at night, but just thoughts themselves. Our minds are just agitated and stressed. Trying to go from 200mph to 0mph takes a minute or so and if we do it too quickly we crash. So what we need to do first is calm the mind down a bit before going to bed. What I recommend is the breathing exercise I shared in the blog titled "Gaining distance from stress through breathing" that I have posted on this site.

Watching what we put into our minds will also determine how well we sleep at night. Whatever you are watching, doing or thinking the hour or so before bed your mind will play with. This is the material the mind uses for its first few hours of sleep. If you are putting in stress from watching the news, violence from intense movies, or heavy gossip from t.v. shows then that is what you will feel the first few hours of sleep. I recommend either reading something light or taking a hot shower before bed. Try to keep the stimulation from the outside world to a minimum( but yes it is OK to have intimate fun if you wish, I don't want any rotten tomatoes thrown at me through the computer screen).

I hope these stress management tools help in you getting a better night sleep. As the aboriginals of Australia say, "see you in Dreamtime".

Til next time,

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Walking the Talk the Stress of Being Congruent

How many times have you given someone great advice, but in the back of you mind you knew that you didn't follow it yourself. I think we all have been guilty of that from time to time. You really wanted to help, but also you became stressed about being found out. This is called not walking the talk. Our intentions are good, but maybe there is a better way.

I remember a story I once heard about Gandhi, now I don't know if this is the correct version so please forgive me if I am off in the telling of it. It goes something like this...a woman traveled a week in the dry Indian desert with her daughter to see Gandhi and ask his help. When she finally got there she was allowed to meet with him. He asked her what she needed, she said that her daughter was addicted to sugar, that she was putting on so much weight that she was scared for her life. Gandhi just sat there, listened and then said come back in three weeks. The lady was at first upset, she traveled all that way, why not help her now, but she respected him and so she left. She traveled back home, stayed for about a week, and then with her daughter along side her went again to see Gandhi. When she arrived she was ushered straight in to see him. He then looked right into the daughter's eyes and said, "Don't eat sugar". Great,the mom thought, just what she needed to hear, she won't eat sugar again. But wait, why did I have wait 3 weeks to find this out, why couldn't he have said this earlier and saved all the struggle and time of crossing the Indian desert. So she asked him and he responded by saying that when she first came to see him, he was eating sugar. So for the next 3 weeks he stopped, now he doesn't eat sugar.

I liked that story. It has many different levels. The main being the topic of today's post. See there is no stress or worry about what we say to people when we give advice if we follow it ourselves. Stress comes from being found out, from being discovered. If we only share what we do ourselves, than there is no stress when it comes to helping others.

I applied this lesson of walking the talk a few days ago. A couple clients of mine were wanting to get eat healthier and get into better shape. Now trying to tell them to eat fruits and salads while I sat in my office later that day eating a couple of donuts was not really congruent. So I told them that I would make an eating plan for them in two weeks. The next day I said goodbye to Mr. Donut and hello to a more healthy style of eating. Two weeks later I gave my clients the new eating plan. Now not only are my clients going to benefit from my diet coaching, but my body will as well because now I am walking my talk and eating better too.

Til next time,

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Do You Get Stressed Out in Traffic?

I was recently asked the question, "Traffic is the most stressful part of my day. Is there any way to make my daily commute less stressful?" I thought it might be useful to share a couple of the stress management tools I used with this client in today's post.

One way to make the daily commute a bit less stressful is to minimize your distractions while driving. Many people seem to be multi-tasking 24 hours a day, including on their daily drives. Your car is your escape from reality. It is your own personal time, but most us give that time away. We are busy texting, calling, and smoke signaling to our friends during our only "Me" time( well the last one might be an extreme example). So try stashing the cell phone in the trunk. It might be hard at first, but you will soon feel a sense of freedom that is very intoxicating.

Also to make it less stressful, put in some nice music to listen to, or some audio program you like. My wife loves to listen to books on CD during long drives. Now if you have to crank your music to level 30 on your car stereo system to it enjoy it, than it might be better to listen to a less stressful style of music on the drive. Now I love heavy metal, but the daily commutes in heavy traffic is not really the best time if your looking to be less stressful.

Another great stress management tool is to think of traffic as a movie. Think of yourself watching a movie and the people in the traffic with you as characters in that movie. So if someone cuts you off, think, "wow I wonder what is going on in their life right now?" Make up a little story line as to what is going in that person's life at that moment. Maybe they are late for a meeting or maybe they are just really excited to get home. You can get so caught up in the newly created storyline that you forget all about time and the traffic around you. You might notice that in no time you are out of the traffic and where you want to be.

Another reason the movie tool really helps in lessening stress is that by creating the movie you create some distance between you and what is happening. That little bit of space is enough to lessen your stress as well. So that you are no longer the target of other peoples bad driving skills( because its never us that are the bad drivers, right?). So we take something that might seem on the surface as something personal and make it impersonal and not about us.

Til next time,

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Just Keep Your Feet Moving

Todays post is about my experience in the world of social networking. Let me digress a bit. Networking has never been my favorite thing to do. Now I love people and have no problem making friends, in fact everyone I meet I think of as a friend. But there still is that little kid in me that likes to stand in the corner and not talk to anyone when in a social setting. I have worked hard to coax that kid to come out and play with the rest of the kids. It has worked to a large extent, but sometimes that shy kid shows up when least expected.

The other day I went to a tweet up. Now this isn't a bird society meeting, its for local people on twitter to meet offline and see what we really look and sound like( yes I did fix my hair for the occasion). As I drove past the restaurant where the meeting was taking place to find a parking spot; I started to feel that little kid come out. You know, the one I said that likes to stay in the corner. I tried not to pay him any attention, but like all kids, the less attention you pay them, the more attention they demand of you.

So there I was, my car parked, and that little kid having a field day in my mind. The funny thing is that there was no feeling or stress attached to him. I knew he was there, his crazy ideas pushing to the forefront of my mind, but I was not stressed. "Hmmmm," I thought to myself, "you really have conquered stress Dr. Zipp". Well I might not have been stressed, but my mind was still not wanting me to go in. What to do? Well, I thought, I will do what I teach and pull one of my tools out of my bag of tricks. So I used the following and it worked, first let me tell you a story......

There is a myth that up in the mountains somewhere there was a cave called the cave of a thousand demons. Monks from all over the countryside would go there every 10 years for it was said that anyone who went in and made it out the other side would attain instant enlightenment. The downside was that if you didn't make it out, you would be trapped there for eternity. In this cave would be what you feared most in the world, but only thousands of times more extreme. So if you were afraid of spiders, you would be surrounded by thousands of them for miles and miles. If it was heights, you would have to jump over endlessly deep chasms over and over again to make it out the other side.

Before the few monks that dared enter the cave every 10 years went in, they were given two instructions. These were the keys to coming out the other side. The first one was this, "everything you see, hear and feel in there is just a projection in your mind, it isn't real." The second instruction was this, "whatever happens, keep your feet moving".

So that's what I did the other night. I got out of the car, let the boy inside my head continue to cry out for attention, and just kept my feet moving. And you know what, as I walked closer to the door of the resturant, the kid inside my head went away. It was just a projection in my mind, it wasn't real.

Til next time,

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Gaining distance from stress through breathing

A friend recently asked me the following question. "I hear meditation can help relieve stress? Do you have any info on how to do it properly so it's effective?" It is true that meditation can relieve stress. There are many forms and styles and they all work to one extent or another. There are some purely for relaxation and others for enlightenment. I will share with you one meditation that I use with some of my clients to help reduce stress.

A useful approach to this meditation is to think of the mind like a ship sailing in the sea. Sometimes the seas are calm, but most of the time the seas are full of waves from the storms that come and go constantly. So when the sea is calm its easy to navigate and sail a ship even with the occasional rogue wave, but when it is choppy or full of monstrous waves it is very difficult to maintain control. This is what happens with our minds and how we respond to stress. If we are calm to begin with, and something stressful in our world happens, its easy to sail on through. But if we are agitated and stressed out to begin with, we are in no position to sail on through but are at the mercy of the storm. So we are going to use meditation to calm the sea of our mind.

We first put our attention on our breath. We use the breath to calm down the mind. We feel the air at the base of our lungs and follow it up to the top of our throat. We then watch it as it goes out through our nose down to the floor below, just about to touch the ground. Then we watch as we inhale that same air comes back up into our nose and back down our throat. Finally it reaches the bottom of our lungs. We then start the whole process over again.

Each time we do this we count( in our heads). So the first time we count one, then breathe in and out, now 2, and so on up to 10. Once at ten we start back over again. We do this 3 times. Then stop, take a short break and continue if we like, if not we carry on with our day.

I could spend hours with someone explaining how to do this. It is simple yet very complex. The key is just to do it. Don't try to get it right or perfect, just do it.

This will calm down the mind. The more you do it, the calmer your mind will be during the day. If you do it a lot, you will start to notice a permanent change in your ability to handle stress.

It is also great to do right before you are about to go into a situation you know will be stressful.

Til next time.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Managing our expectations: A lesson from the locksmith

"We must learn to manage our expectations if are to live a life of less stress"

The other day I had to change the locks for my office. I had to fire an employee which is never easy( no matter what Donald Trump says). Later that day I had to do the time honored task of changing the locks. Well one of my locks needed re-keying so I took it to the local locksmith. When I arrived there she stated that it would be ten dollars to re-key the lock. Seemed a reasonable price, so I took out the lock and set it on the counter. After inspecting the lock for a minute she informed me that it was a "magic lock". She then told me that this lock was very easy to re-key with a special tool the lock company made. I could go to any hardware store, buy the tool, and do it myself for less than a dollar. But, she said, since I was already there she still had to charge me the ten bucks for fixing it.

Was I being taken advantage of? I don't think so. Was I really paying for her time, or for her experience and knowledge? I say the second. There was no way I would have known that it was a magic lock if I didn't see her in the first place. Secondly, because it was so easy to fix, I was able to leave the store in half the time it would have taken otherwise.

So many times we think that if we pay more, we should get more. The challenge is our definition of more. In this scenario I did get more. I got more time, time I didn't have to spend in her shop. Time that I could now could spend anyway I wanted. Time is the only thing that once spent, we can never get back. So it was a nice gift she gave me.

Changing our perspective changes our level of stress. We must learn to manage our expectations if we are to operate in life happily, joyfully and with less stress.

Next time you feel you are getting short changed, think about what you might be gaining in the interaction. You might be surprised that you are really getting back more than you thought.

Til next time.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Twitter Quotes

I decided to go through some of my twitter posts today. What I did was take the ones I thought were really useful and put them in my blog post today. These are all original Dr. John Zipp thoughts about stress, my mission as a coach, and also life as well. I hope they are useful to you or at the very least entertaining.

Stress level is connected to how we eat. Notice how you feel after eating certain foods or going to certain restaurants, you may fine clues.

Too much explaining means you haven't clearly defined your boundaries in mind. Less explaining equals less stress.

To be motivated you must surround yourself with motivated people, if you can't then use music that inspires, books, movies that lift you up.

If the environment stresses you out you have two options, change the environment or leave it.

Being politically correct causes confusion since what is deemed correct always changes, instead be true to yourself.

You have to surround yourself with passionate people if you want to live a life that is passionate.

Consistency is one of the hardest things, that's where having a good coach comes in. It’s to keep us accountable.

By going deeper into stress it sometimes burn itself out.

When stress is pushing you so hard and the harder you resist, the more it grows, than it may be time to go deeper in it.

Starting your day with something fun can be one of the best ways to keep stress off your back. Even singing in the shower can help.

Having too many rules can stress you out.

You are only responsible for your own happiness, when you really get that your whole life changes.

To be comfortable with yourself you need two things, self-awareness and self-honesty. Understanding this in one big step towards less stress.

Learning to be yourself is a key step in reducing your daily stress.

What I do as a coach is teach people how to manage expectations.

What sets the few apart from the many is that the few really care.

When you focus on helping others you don't have time for stress.

The more you take things personally the more stress you have.

Two big reasons for arguments and interpersonal stress are: We think we are right and they are wrong or they think they are right and we are.

If you set your environment up to win, you are more likely to win.

Stress comes from always wanting to be somewhere else or do something else instead of being right here and doing just this.

If a movie is really bad it’s ok to stop watching, I give you permission, life is too short.

Getting to much sleep or to little can cause stress. Find the amount that's right for you, everyone is different.

It’s not what we do every once in awhile that counts but its what we do everyday that matters.

It's scary to cut out the negative (people and memories) to make room for the future, I admit it, but it's worth it.

You can't truly make a fresh start if you hanging on to baggage from the past.

Addictions cause us to be selfish which in turn causes stress by creating the feelings of guilt and remorse.

Thinking clearly from a stressed state is an oxymoron.

Friends can be constant reminders of your past limitations. You have two choices; either tell them they must see the new you or you must go make new friends.

Sometimes you have to go deeper into stress to get rid of it. If there is no way out, then turn back around and charge in.

Being a good coach comes from experience. That comes from not only going through it, but having been taught it over and over again..

If you have nothing to say that’s meaningful, helpful or useful its best not to speak, idle chatter always causes more harm than good.

Discipline cannot be taught but can be conditioned through making certain desired actions and tendencies habitual.

Constant self-awareness is key to having less stress. We don't have the luxury in life to fall asleep at the wheel.

Being real is one of the hardest things we can do, accepting that is even harder.

You don't have time dwell on past mistakes, drama, or stress if you want be happy and successful.

Never be afraid to speak your mind, some may agree w/ you others not. But at least you won't be confused as to where you stand.

Not being mindful of what you eat can have devastating effects, not only on your health, but on your mental state as well.

I think everyone I meet for the first time could have been my best friend in a past life. It may or may not be true, but by believing in that I care more about the other person and they feel my genuine concern.

When you are to concerned with pleasing people stress can rear its ugly head, when you want to truly help people stress fades away

If positive thinking worked we would all be millionaires, we need accountability and conditioning to really make a difference

When you feel stressed & #overwhelmed, slow down your thoughts. When you slow down your internal dialogue your stress decreases

Inspiration can't be forced, but it can be coaxed.

Stress can come from not having options, breathe, take a step back, and don't think about it until you have at least one more choice

How someone is reacting to you is usually not about your stuff, but about his or her stuff.

Inaction is action but in no direction.

You don't have to pay attention to that small voice inside of your head that keeps saying annoying things or singing those annoying songs over and over again. Let it have its fun and you go and do something else.

You can be conditioned to live a mostly stress free life. It just takes skill, right knowledge and accountability.

Having less stress isn't a matter of doing one thing differently, but doing many things differently.

Being mindful of what goes into your mind greatly reduces your stress. Ever heard the saying you are what you eat?

Stress level is connected to how we eat. Notice how you feel after eating certain foods or going to certain restaurants, you may fine clues.

Too much explaining means you haven't clearly defined your boundaries in mind. Less explaining equals less stress.

You have to surround yourself with passionate people if you want to live a life that is passionate.

Til next time.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

The Alarm Clock Test

I recently had the experience of noticing first hand how conditioning yourself to have less stress really does work. It happened early one morning. My wife had just got out of bed and turned off the alarm clock. The clock had awakened me from my slumber and then I quickly drifted back off to sleep. Fifteen minutes later the dreaded..BEEP BEEP BEEP starts again, this time 10 times louder. Apparently she hit snooze instead of the off button and hit the increase volume button as well. Normally that would have irritated me and possibly caused a slight bit of rage. Instead, this time, I calmly reached over to her side of the bed, fumbled around at the radio until I hit the right button, and then went right back to sleep.

It wasn't until later in the day that I realized what had happened. All this time spent conditioning myself to be less stressful had paid off. My past reactions to life really had changed.

Now its your turn to create your own Alarm Clock Test. What is it in your environment that constantly causes a stressful reaction in you? Start practicing some of the techniques in this blog over the next few weeks. Notice how your reaction to that situation starts to change. You might be pleasantly or sleepily surprised!

Til next time.

Sending you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Please let me know about how to plan our life in order to live a successful and happy life.

I had someone recently ask me the following question: Please let me know about how to plan our life in order to live a successful and happy life.

I think the answer I sent in return could be of benefit to some of you so I decided to post it.

There are a few simple steps you can take toward happiness. The thing is happiness is a never-ending journey and not a destination. You can''t plan to be happy. All you can do is try to be happy most of the time.

The first thing you can do is find out what you love to do. If you are doing that now, great, if not, what is it? We spend so much time at work that if we don't love it, our lives will show that.

Second, focus on creating many magical moments. Too many times we focus on just acquiring things. We just want more stuff, thinking that will make us happy. I can tell you from experience that it is not the stuff that makes you happy, its the experiences you have. It's those magic moments, like taking a walk down the beach with someone you love, seeing a child smile, or eating a great pizza.

Third thing is not to stress about life. Stress is the opposite of happiness, it is fear. The less stressed you are in life, the better you feel. My focus for the past few years has been on helping people get out of stress. You can check out my website I linked for tips on that.

I hope those things help. Happiness is just a state of mind and like all states of mind they are temporary, making them permanent is nearly impossible. So what we can do is strive to keep the up times of our lives longer and make the down times shorter. Pretty soon we won't even notice the down times because they only will last a blink of an eye.

Til next time.

Sending everyone the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Try It Alone the First Time

This is a great tip I learned from a police officer that is a patient of mine. He told me a story about how people act when they first go to the gun range. He said quite a few people will either freeze up, or shoot way off target. He then said that when people go by themselves to the range, they usually shoot better and do not freeze up.

I thought about his story for awhile. You know what, he is right. Most of the time when we are trying something new for the first time, we tense up. Most of that is due to embarrassment, not wanting to look bad in front of our peers. What is the solution? Try doing it alone first. If there is some new task you need to master or something new you want to try, if it is possible, do it first by yourself. At the very least figure out how it is done and what the activity is really about first, before you try it around others.

Doing it alone can be a great way to take the stress out of new activities.

Sending you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

The Stress of Preparation

How many times in your life have you had a test that you needed to study for, meetings that needed to be prepared for, or just a talk with a friend that had to be done but that you were putting off? I know I have had my fair share of all of them.

So what do we do? We prepare. We study for the big test(for me it was always the night before with a cup of coffee always in hand). We get our research together for the big meeting. We call and set up a time to met our friend and think about what we really want to say. After we have prepared we go over and over the scenarios in our mind. Sometimes they go smoothly, sometimes not so smooth. Either way, we stress.

What I am going to invite you to try is something different. Its is called "prepare, double check, and let it go". So lets take the example of the test at school. We study, then we go over our notes, and then we quiz ourselves. If we feel we know the material, we go on to another activity, if we don't we study some more. That's it, pretty simple.

So we learn to let go. Stress clouds our judgement and causes self doubt. The more you learn to trust yourself, the less stress you will have and the better you will be at any task you needed preparation for. All the resources are there, you just need to be able to access them. To do that, you need a clear head. Learning to let it go gives you that.

Til next time!

Sending you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

How to Look Younger and Have Less Stress

Intrigued already aren't you? Well this is a simple exercise that I learned through my acting classes. (and yes I have been in a movie before, but that's for another post).

We have over 80 muscles in our face. Our facial muscles are tied directly into our brain through our facial nerves, more directly than most muscles. What does that mean? Well it means how we use our face dictates how we feel. That is why when you smile you feel good and when you frown you feel bad. The act of smiling actually causes your body to release endorphins( those feel good hormones responsible for that runners high or that great feeling after making love).

"Ok I got it, now tell me how to look younger and have less stress," you might be thinking. Well, all you have to do is relax your face. Take a few minutes to do this right now. Think about your checks, feel them and now let them drop down, let them melt down like warm butter. Next your forehead, feel the tension just melt away. Now the muscles around your eyes. Now feel the corners of your mouth relax and drop down. Just keep focusing on your face feeling more and more relaxed.

Doing this simple exercise a few times a day will really cut down on your stress. Also relaxing the muscles will help reduce those nasty lines we all get as we age. So you don't need fancy electronic machines to massage your face, you can relax it yourself, with just your mind.

The more you do this exercise, the easier it gets and the quicker you can get into that relaxed stated. So try it three times a day for the next week and see how you feel.

Til next time.

Sending you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

The Stress of Unfinished Business

Have you been meaning to do something, but never get around to doing it? Maybe its cleaning out the back seat of your car. Maybe its talking to your spouse about an annoying habit that she has( like that constant smacking every time she eats popcorn during a movie). Or maybe its just returning a few phone calls to people that you really don't want to talk to but know you should at least call back.

Now let me set the record straight before some of you who know me start to shout "Hypocrite!". I have my fair share of unfinished business. But what I do know is that by taking care of the majority of it, my life stays less stressful.

So what do I do? I do a mental inventory every couple days or so about what keeps looping in my head. You know, those little thoughts that pop up every few minutes or so that say, "you know, you really should pay that bill today, or you know, you really need to call you mom back". Those thoughts.

If those same thoughts were looping around in my head last week, then I know I must take care of whatever it is right now( or by the end of the day at least). If I don't then my head keeps getting more and more crowded with more and more things that need to get done. And what happens when things get too crowded? Well just think about being in an elevator. At first your by yourself, OK no problem. Then two people come on board, still no problem. Now a third person, now its getting a bit cramped. Now ten more people from the convention in the hotel just ran to the elevator at the last minute to get on board. That's when the claustrophobia really sets in which leads to massive amounts of STRESS. That scenario is what happens in our minds everyday unless we learn to take care of our unfinished business.

So go check your mind and let me know how crowded it is in there.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

The Stress of Always Looking

If you are anything like me, you are someone who is always searching for the answers. The problem is, we can get stuck always searching and never become happy with any of the answers we find. In my early years I would go from seminar to seminar trying to figure out the right way to live my life. In my middle years I would go from seminar to seminar trying to figure out the right way to live my life. Now( well still in my middle years), I decided that I know enough.

So you can see how we can stress ourselves out trying to be perfect, trying to find out all the right answers. The secret is realizing that you already have all the answers. More than likely you know enough to come up with the right solution. If you don't, that is where a good coach comes in. A good coach points you in the right direction for the answers you need, and then makes sure you follow through. Mostly what a good coach does is uncover the answers you already have. They help you discover your own inner talents and resources. By doing that, you start to take the stress of searching off your back.

P.S.

Now I stated in the beginning of this post that I know enough. I wanted to let you know that I do not know everything. So if you are looking for someone that knows where those keys you lost back in 1998 are, that person is not me. I still do my fair share of studying and researching, but when it comes to making decisions I am confident in what I know and confident in where to go for help if I need it.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

Trying to Make Choices From a Stressed State

Have you ever been totally stressed out and felt the world was collapsing down on you? Did it feel like the more you stressed the less you thought clearly and the more helpless you felt in that situation?

Well we have all been there. One definition of stress states exactly what happens and why it causes us to lose control.

stress

7.	Physiology. a specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.

So having any kind of stress would therefore interfere with our normal ability to respond. In other words we are not clear headed, not "in the game".

In my Chiropractic office I have seen how stress can wreak havoc on the body. People who stress about the pain or symptoms they are experiencing in their health take longer to heal and suffer more.

So what can we do. BREATHE. "Wait a second" you might be thinking, "I already do that". Well think about this; what happens when we are stressed? We tense up and stop breathing. We become constricted. The very thing we need most of we get less of, oxygen. That in of itself causes us to increase our level of stress because unconsciously we think we might be dying..since we are not getting what we need to live..oxygen.

So breathe..... Take 5 deep belly breaths. Follow that with normal breathing...then take 5 more deep belly breaths. Repeat this until you can feel your blood pressure start to lower and your mind become more clearer. Its amazing that something as simple as breathing can help us create the options and choices we didn't have a few moments earlier.

Wishing you the best,

Dr. John Zipp

The Stress of Trying to be Perfect

Have you ever heard the saying, "Nobody's perfect"? Well it is a very true statement. We live in a world that is constantly changing. Fashion styles change, music changes, even how we speak changes( English is the largest language in the world because of its ability to constantly change and add new words).

So what does all that mean? It means it is virtually impossible to be perfect by today's standards. Why? Because the standards we live by are changing at the blink of an eye. What was perfect 5 minutes ago is old news today. So why try to live up to other people's standards? Let's try living up to our own standards and ideals.

Here are some basic ideas to think about to help you get out of the "trying to be perfect" mode.

1. You are never finished for the day. There is always more to be done. Realize that and do all you can, when you can, and let the rest sit there until the next day.

2. You will never get everything right. Yep. Never. Why? Because it is not you that is the judge, it is everyone else and there are too many opinions to try to appease. It would be impossible to make everyone else happy. As soon as you make one person happy, another one will be unhappy for what made that first person happy. So what is the solution. Do your best. Let that be your new motto. "I will do my best". If you do your best, there can be no regrets, no stress about what you should have done, because you did all you could.

3. Remember what you think is perfect now won't be perfect in 5 years. Remember those great hairstyles of the 80's. You thought those were perfect didn't you( I remember seeing you with that mullet and spiked up hair). Well perfect is perfect right...that means it shouldn't change. But again we do change, times do change. Instead try doing what feels the best to you now. Dress in the way that makes you feel your best. Do your work how you feel it should best be done. There will always those that disagree, naysayers. As long as you did your best, again, no regrets and no stress.

Wishing you the very best,

Dr. Zipp

ADD and Stress

It seems more and more of our society is becoming ADD. What used to be called multi-tasking in the nineties is now called ADD. We are doing so many things at once now( most of them unimportant tasks) that we are constantly stressed out trying to get them all done and staying focused at the same time. The definition of the word focus is

noun

1.	a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity

So trying to stay focused on multiple tasks, by the very definition of the word, is impossible. But we try to do that all the time. Driving our car, blasting the radio, talking on the cell phone...oh wait..texting on our cell phone, all the while talking to our friends in the car riding with us. Do you think at least on an unconscious level that would cause a little stress in our bodies?

Did you know the average IQ in the U.S. has dropped. For the first time in history it is below 100. Do you know the reason for that? Our ADD lifestyle. It has been cited as the number one reason for the decline in intelligence in the country.

So how do we learn to lessen our stress and increase our intelligence? We stop multi-tasking. When you drive, drive. If you have to make a phone call, pull over. When you have lunch with your friends...PUT YOUR CELL PHONE AWAY. Pick one task you need to do and do that during the day, when you are finished start the next task.

For the next week just pay attention to how many times you are doing multiple things at once and how that makes you feel. Then try to just do one of those things, then the next. See how that makes you feel. You might be surprised at how much your stress level decreases throughout the day and you might even gain a few IQ points on the way!