The stress kicks in when we cannot remember what we said and to whom we said it. If we watch what we say, than we are not being honest with our thoughts and feelings. So what we end up doing much of the time is lying to others. Lets use the example of going to a a movie with a bunch of friends. Your best friend, who chose what movie you saw because it was his birthday, asks you what you thought after it was over. Well in truth you didn't like it(in fact you fell asleep during half of it), but you tell them him instead that you loved it. Now its a week later and you see your best friend's sister out and she asks what you thought of the movie you saw. What do you say? Well you forget that you told your best friend you loved it and so you tell his sister that you hated it. The sister tells her brother who is now mad at you for lying, which then snowballs into all your friends ganging up on you. All for trying to say the "right thing". If you told your friend the truth in the very beginning about what you thought of the movie there would be no big deal when asked by someone else. So there is the stress of trying to remember what we said and the stress of being found out that we said was something different previously. What a pickle being politically correct can cause.
Now being honest with our speech doesn't mean we have to be blunt or harsh. There are more polite ways to respond to people and still be honest with our answers.
The other thing that being politically correct does is take away our self-esteem. We honor what we consider societies choices over our own. We must be the ones that decide what we like or don't like. When you put that in someone else's hands you give them the power to shape your life.
I met a fellow chiropractor a while back at a party. As it always goes when two chiropractors meet, they talk about their offices. Well the doctor I was talking to started bringing up another chiropractor in the area and discussing what he was doing in his office. I mentioned how I didn't appreciate how that other chiropractor ran his office, how he was not treating his patients in the best possible way. My new friend quickly interrupted me and said that he doesn't ever talk badly about another doctor. I thought about that for the rest of the night. Now there is one thing being gossipy and slanderous and there is another having a conversation and maybe helping someone. This other doctor isn't giving great care to his patients. What if someone asks my new chiropractor friend his opinion on him, and he says, oh he is a good chiropractor but I don't really talk about other doctors. Now this person goes and gets bad service. Who's fault is that? Who looks bad from that situation? Does the other chiropractor look bad or does my friend look bad for referring someone to him? What if this patient now tells all his friends how bad this other doctor is? Now the profession itself can look bad. All this could have been stopped by telling the truth. See the dangers of being politically correct.
The last point is that what is politically correct today, will be politically wrong tomorrow. Just look at history. Smoking was good for us at one time, then in the 60's we found out it was killing people. Russia was bad at one time, now they are our friends. Do you want to ride on the roller coaster of public opinion or of your own?
So let go of the stress of watching what you say, of being politically correct and just be yourself. Be honest with your opinions or say nothing at all. Either way don't have the stress of trying to remember what you said or of saying the right thing.
Til next time.
Wishing you the best,
Dr. John Zipp
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